Navis Salubris – Chapter One – Nell

Navis Salubris – Chapter One – Nell

by Mel Dawn

Has Nell really missed the apocalypse?

Nell navigated through all the boxes and bags in her kitchen. She never had time to finish putting away the party supplies. No sooner had she wobbled out of bed then she had to rush to the bathroom for another vomiting session. 

The doctor had called it Norwalk virus, or gastroenteritis, from the norovirus genus. Whatever it was, it had put her nearly flat on her back, or, on the toilet, for a good two weeks. 

As Nell was healing she couldn’t help but notice how quiet it had become outside. Where once cars and trucks used to speed down her street, there were now none. She simply attributed it to road work, and quickly made it to the bathroom before she had a mess to clean off the floor.

It was either very lucky, or very unlucky that she had been planning her fortieth birthday celebration before disaster struck. She’d even gone so far as to buy several cases of champagne, tons of pop and water, snacks, fruits, vegetables, and just about every type of packaged food you can imagine. Fortunately she was all stocked up, as she was fairly certain that the gals from her office wouldn’t come near her, at least not without full Ebola virus gear on. Well, she might as well have that anyway, as Nell had lost a ton of weight. But still, she tried to stay hydrated, and at least got a bit of food in her stomach each day. 

Around day eight of her reclusion, the electricity went out. She’d spent a good twenty minutes trying to get through to hydro, before she realized that her phone also ran on electricity. For some reason her cell phone didn’t work either. 

She stored up her anger and would give the utility companies a piece of her mind, once she was well, anyway. Fortunately it was spring, and the only thing she really missed was the TV.

“Screw it,” she said, missing her daytime television. She picked up a book instead.

In the distance she heard some screaming and yelling. It sounded like her neighbours were fighting again. She went to her bedroom where she couldn’t hear them any longer.

Some time later Nell thought she heard something scratching at her hall door. She got out of bed and walked into the hallway to check it out. She watched as a gold envelope slid itself under the door and into her abode.

She quickly peeked out through the peephole but didn’t see anyone there. There was a terrible smell emanating from the hallway. 

She grabbed the envelope and tore it open. Inside was what appeared to be a printed ticket for one of those celebrity cruises. 

Nell nearly jumped a foot in the air as an object came hurtling through the window behind her and struck her in the shoulder. She sat on the ground dazed. She glanced out the window and then down at the object on the ground. Her mind couldn’t process what she was seeing. She grasped her envelope and looked more closely at the ticket. 

Next... Chapter Two – Abdul.

Navis Salubris – The Start of a Serialized Short Story – The Healing Ship

My blog has been sadly neglected for the past year. Paid writing work has taken priority over unpaid fiction. From dealing with a sick cat with hepatitis/liver disease, to a small cyst in my hand that hurts, I've decided to take a few weeks off. This has given me the chance to get my home in order, finish off a few projects, and get back into crafting and fictional writing.

Earlier this year I eagerly followed the serialized adventures of Jason P. Crawford. A blog is yet another avenue for reaching new readers. What a great idea! I decided to give it a try, and now I have time to do so. Hopefully 500 words each day won't slow down my daily chores, and as Isabel the Cat gets better, more time is freed up to do what I want.

Here's a brief summary of what I'm trying to accomplish. Of course it's a zombie short story, as zombies are what I do best. Just what does Navis Salubris mean? I enjoy dabbling in Latin and hope I have my translation correct. Navis means Navy, and I'm sure most people will recognize Salubris for the Good Health toast. Thus we have "The Healing Ship". Check out the futuristic ship photo I found online.

As the zombie threat lessens, remnants of human society have degenerated into in-fighting. Five people from around the world find themselves with an unexpected ticket to the Navis Salubris. Our five main characters wake up on the ship, disoriented, and wondering how they got so far from home. Nell has missed much of the zombie apocalypse, being confined to her Vancouver home. Wei has survived by hiding in tiny crawl spaces that an adult could never fit. Abdul is a terrorist in Iraq. Riitta is a zombie, former politician in Sweden–aren't they all? Sam is a suicidal doctor in Nigeria. Are they in heaven, hell, or something much worse? As our candidates traverse strange waters, they may just find they've ended up with more than they had ever bargained for during their battle for human survival.

6 Dark and Shady Sides to the Publishing Industry

When you’re an online content writer, or short story or book writer, after a few years of experience you’ll come to realize that there are some, how shall we say it, rather shady practices in the publishing industry.

I’m not talking about credit card or identity theft, but about certain practices that can leave a bad taste in the mouth. I won’t get into the vanity publishing industry here, which has been gaining more respect with the advent of e-book publishing. What I’m talking about are some really nefarious practices that you’ll experience when you’re trying to make a buck. Most of these are applicable to writing non-fiction articles or blogs, but some are also applicable to writing short stories and books as well.

I’ll bet Stephen King or Orson Scott Card never had to deal with any of the 6 dark and shady sides to the publishing industry. And, until you hit it big, most likely you’ll come across some of these practices too. We’ll get into the top six that I’ve encountered during my time as an online content writer and short story writer. 

1. Ghostwriting is becoming exceedingly popular. 
In fact, ghostwriters may now comprise the largest portion of online content. When I first started writing for Associated Content back in 2007, I always had my byline. Even when they farmed out my services to other websites, my own name was added as a byline. But with the advent of blogging, usually the person who posts the blog is the one who takes the credit. It even happened to me a few months back, when a client promised to use “by Mel Dawn” in the byline. For months I wondered why they never used my article. Then it “Dawned” on me. I went back and reread all their past blogs. Sure enough, there was my blog on their website, but claimed by a “well-known” writer. Can you believe it? So, chances are that even Stephen King and Orson Scott Card aren’t writing their own stuff either! In fact, I have ghostwritten many short stories for other writers. I even ghost wrote an entire novel! But nope, even if these pieces make it into the mainstream market, I won’t see any further royalties, or credit, though at least I did get a payment for them in the beginning.

2. Online content writers aren’t rich.
In fact, many online content writers are only paid a few dollars for the articles that they write. I’ve seen content websites that only offer $1 per article, and that’s before the site takes their cut, or Paypal takes their fee. I write for a variety of sites and while the ones that pay out $50 for a blog are great, these articles often take hours and hours to write. One famous blog writer told me it took her three days to write an article. You can start to understand how time-consuming the writing craft can be, when you factor in writing an outline, doing the research, writing the actual article, proofreading and editing your own work, adding in sources, footnotes, and references, and then having to format the article and email or upload it to the required address. 

3. Writers rarely get the full price of an article and are lucky if they get 5%.
Most online content writing sites pay writers a portion of the amount they actually receive from the client or customer. Oftentimes, if a writer has only been paid $5 for an article, the middle man is actually getting $50 or $100 for an article that the paying client has ordered. If you can find your own clients to pay you that $100, then great! That’s the goal you’re aiming for anyway.

4. Publishers, websites, and businesses buy Likes, Follows, and Shares.
Occasionally you may be impressed by the number of followers or likes you see on a Facebook page or Twitter account. But often these are purchased under the table. Why do they do it? Because the more followers and likes a page has, the more it’s validated in the eyes of real paying customers. Or, a publisher may take notice of a book that has hundreds of thousands of likes, before deciding to buy the book. It’s an underhanded but still legal way to market your website, book, or publishing company.

5. Corporations spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on articles but never use them.
I’ve written over a thousand articles now, and have yet to even see a small portion of them posted online. Corporations buy up articles in bulk from an online content mill for thousands of dollars. And then, they never use them. We already know how wasteful corporations are, yet when it comes to employees, they cut them from the company, and farm out all the work. Except, it ends up costing them even more to hire a content mill for a $100,000 writing gig, when they could have hired a good writer for an entire year for $40,000. Yes, I’m bitter. 

6. A content writer may get paid several weeks down the road.
I’ve had articles sit in my queue for weeks. Until they’re edited and approved by the client, I don’t get paid. While I constantly ensure that I have jobs in my queue, thus ensuring a steady stream of income, getting paid three months later isn’t exactly an acceptable business practice.

After reading through this you may be wondering to yourself, should I embark on a writing career? Yes you should, because you’ll still get to work from home, and be in charge of more aspects of your working life. Let’s face it, working in an office, retail, food, or factory isn’t so great either. There’s a whole lot of crap that happens in the working world, that we try to brush over when we tell China how great it is to work in North America. But, the truth of the matter is that humans sometimes behave badly in all sorts of working situations. If you’re prepared before going in, you may decide to try a different style of writing, or avoid the crappy paying content mills. In the beginning a business seems fabulous to work for, until you learn all the ins and outs of the trade. 

I wish everyone best wishes in their future writing endeavours, and hopefully you can avoid some of the pitfalls of the publishing and writing industries.

Dear Mel Dawn of the Dead

Thank you for sending us your short story, “Zombie Cats of the Apocalypse”.

While we do enjoy a good zombie story, this wasn’t it.

We also take exception to the phrase, “90% of the adult human population is already infected with the Toxoplasma gondii cat parasite, and hence are already zombies due to the fact that placing a mustache on a cat will result in the human’s voices descending into a monotone of “who is a cute liddle widdle kitty cat now?”

We also suggest that you go back to school and take a grammatical course as I’m fairly certain that a zombie cat would not say “you look meowalushus today hoomin,” but rather, “You look meowalicious today human”.

The editors at the Zombie Cat Anthology do not wish you the best in your writing endeavors and suggest that you give up writing altogether and find a job at Walmart.

Best regards,

Edwina the Editor

I See Cat People

There are cat products available for purchase in nearly any shop nowadays. You can find Grumpy Cat merchandise, or the latest books on Nala Cat, or Maru the Box Cat, and Homer the Blind Cat. There's also a wide variety of general cat merchandise, from wallets, to jewellery, and clothing.

Last month I took a trip to Steveston, in Richmond, BC, Canada. You'd think the area would be inundated with Once Upon a Time merchandise, as that's where the TV show is filmed, but no. The only place I saw Once Upon a Time merchandise was at the local tourist office and museum.

Instead, I found tons of cat merch. I couldn't leave without buying a few items, but most had to remain on the shelf. Here's some photographs of What the Cat Saw. Meow!

A kitty bookmark, but who wants to take it out of its cute packaging?

These kitty bottle openers will have you smiling too!

Because we all love cat butts!

The other side of the cat butts coin purse.

Liar liar furry pants on fire!

You too can be as pretty as me with your very own cat compact.

Cat fabric for your arts and crafts.

Kitty cat cross stitch kit.

Kittys on the keys needlepoint project kit.

Cat picks for food or hair?

Cat pillow.

Tiny kitty cat post it notes.

Kitty purse.

A blue kitty scarf.

A pink kitty scarf.

T-shirt or night shirt? Doesn't matter, when I held these up, a little old lady saw them and bought all four! I should have earned commission!

Another of the shirts that I inadvertently sold.

Back view of another shirt.

Front view of the shirt.

A kitty princess t-shirt.

Some cute cat socks that I found at the local crafts shop.

None of these items are for sale, but I do have a few cat items for sale in my own Catews shop. Please do stop by for a visit!

Grumpy Cat Says No to Christmas!

The Grumpy Cat Christmas movie is currently filming in Coquitlam, BC, Canada until September 16th, and I had a chance to check out some of the sets.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. As I walked past, a lot of angry shoppers were mad that the Christmas decorations have been put up even earlier this year, especially in August. But wait....Can it be a Grumpy Cat movie, sponsored by Lifetime Channel? Yes, it's Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever! So, don't worry shoppers, all the Christmas decorations will be back down again, just in time for Halloween!

Someone to watch over me. Yes, they had crew, just in case anyone stole one of the faux presents from under the tree.

Just say NO! That's right. That's what the crew told me when I asked if I could have a look at the set.

But all is not lost, as I was allowed to visit Whiskers, the pet store in the film.

Here's customer service all decked out for Christmas.

Michelle at Customer Service gave me four cat buttons, so I guess my Christmas shopping is now done for the year.

An exterior photo of the pet shop.

An exterior shot of the other side.

The neat sign the crew made.

Some lovely stars on the side.

Another WTF Christmas tree in the Mall.

Some of the actors from the movie decided to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Take note of Grumpy Cat AKA Tardar Sauce, in the background there. 

Here is Grumpy Cat on her Santa throne, not looking very amused.

So, no, after my great voyage out to the boonies, I never did get to meet Grumpy Cat. When I talked to Michelle at Customer Service, she said the crew didn't give them any information. It was hit or miss whether you saw her at the Mall or not. She did make an appearance last Saturday, so it's possible another one is coming up on Saturday. Stay tuned for the Grumpy Cat movie on Lifetime Channel at Christmas time. Until then, say NO to Christmas in August.

The Odds Are Against You Being Born a Human in Canada

Happy Canada Day to my readers! Have you ever thought about the astronomical odds being in your favour when you were born as a human baby in Canada, rather than as an ant, plant or even a human in another country?

There are nearly seven billion people on the planet Earth and approximately 196 countries in the world. Have you ever wondered why you were born here and not in China, Kenya, Australia, or Fuji? Many other countries in the world are lovely, but there is an equal amount where there are no human rights, people don't know if they'll see the light of day when they wake up in the morning, or even where their next meal will come from.

There are 34,000,000 people living in Canada. Of that amount, about 30,000,000 people were born here.

What were the odds that you were lucky enough to be born in Canada? I'm not a mathematician, but my calculations work out to a 0.04% chance of a baby being born at a Canadian hospital tonight.

Now think about how many animals are living on the planet Earth. When I tried to so some research, there wasn't even a number that could describe that amount. The highest number is about a centillion, which I believe has 600 zeros after it. However, scientists believe there are many more living beings in the animal kingdom than that. 

What if we also included plants? Do plants have awareness like humans and animals? No one really knows.

Since there are 2 billion cats in the world, odds are greater that you will be born a human than a cat. I personally wouldn't have minded being born a cat, particularly a cat in Canada. 

It is estimated that there are 10 quadrillion ants in the world, so, odds are greater that you would be born an ant, than a human. Unless you committed wrong doings in your past life, your odds are greatly increased in being a human the next time round.

These statistics are sobering. How did we get so lucky? Why weren't we born ants, spiders, etc? Is there truly a higher being who has classified our spot on the Earlh?

With these thoughts in mind, please enjoy the remainder of your Canada Day!